News items probably don't get much weirder than this one, not even old news items. It has all the right ingredients: a wombat, an orchard worker (what a romantic word this is: orchard), and a lawyer whose short statement ("alcohol was not a problem on that day", instead of "was not intoxicated" or something; why "not a problem"?) is so absurd in its own well-mannered and quiet sort of way that it leaves me quite speechless. The things they do with words, eh?
New Zealand man sentenced after claiming to have been raped by a wombat:
"Arthur Ross Cradock, a 48-year-old orchard worker, admitted in
the Nelson District Court yesterday to the charge of using a phone
for a fictitious purpose, after calling police with the message,
"I've been raped by a wombat".
Police prosecutor Sergeant Chris Stringer told the court that on
the afternoon of February 11 Cradock called the police
communications centre, threatening to "smash the filth" if
they arrived at his home that night.
When asked if he had an emergency, he replied "yes", Mr Stringer
said.
On a second subsequent call to the communications centre,
Cradock told police he was being raped by a wombat at his Motueka
address, and sought their immediate help.
He called police again soon after, and gave his full name,
saying he wanted to withdraw the complaint.
"I'll retract the rape complaint from the wombat, because he's
pulled out," Cradock told the operator at the communications
centre, who had no idea what he was talking about, Mr Stringer
said.
"Apart from speaking Australian now, I'm pretty all right you
know, I didn't hurt my bum at all," Cradock then told the
operator.
Mr Stringer said alcohol had played a big part in Cradock's
life. However, defence lawyer Michael Vesty said alcohol was not a
problem that day."